My immortal love
by Conaissance
Summary: What if fate had different plans for Bella and Carlisle? What if they were meant to be together instead of Bella and Edward?If you want to find out-read this... Bella/ Carlisle, Bella/Carlisle/Edward friendship
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_*****Here we go, the first chapter is up, i hope you like ´t be too harsh, its my first fanfiction ever any i am not a native you enjoy **__**the story and song to listen to while reading this chapter is "In the middle" by Jimmy eat world.**_

**_I wish I´d thought of the Twilight saga, but you all know better: of course Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, i only own this story.***_**

It was a sunny day in August and school had just ended. As usual Bella had volunteered to take some of her classmates home in her car. Soon she had taken everyone home safely and couldn't wait for her free afternoon to begin. She turned on the radio and started singing along and, happy to have the rest of the afternoon to herself, she pushed the gas pedal down.

She hadn't noticed the shiny black Mercedes next to her, so she kept on singing, drumming on the steering wheel …

_Hey, you know they're all the same  
You know you're doing better on your own  
So don't buy in, live right now  
Yeah, just be yourself  
It doesn't matter if that's good enough for someone else_

The driver of the Mercedes, a handsome blonde looking about 30, couldn't help but laugh.

The girl was a good singer, but he was sure she'd be embarrassed if she knew someone was watching. He'd met a lot of humans in his life, but he'd rarely been as fascinated by any of them as he was by this girl. Maybe because she was extraordinarily beautiful, even seen from the perspective of a vampire, maybe because her aura was something he couldn't quite figure out. She seemed to be very vivid, and he could feel that she was in a good mood but all the same she seemed to be worried about something and he had a clue that she wouldn't share the interests of an average Forks high school student...

He had been so taken up by his thoughts about her that he didn't even notice that the girl had turned into a driveway nearby. While Bella entered her home and thought about what she'd be cooking for her Dad, Charlie, the driver of the Mercedes still couldn't think about anything else than this girl and hoped one of his children would know more about her. He was convinced that in a town as small as Forks they would know what girl he was talking about if he mentioned her unique "vintage" truck. Foreseeing usually was his daughter Alice's job, but he sensed that he would meet this girl again and that there was more to her than met the eye…


	2. Chapter 2

_***Hope to get a lot of reviews!! The song to listen to while reading is The Sacrifice by Michael Nyman__***_

Chapter 2

When the driver of the Mercedes entered the house he found all his adoptive children waiting for him in the living room. Ever since his wife Esme had left them to live with a coven of

"Non-vegetarians" things were different. He knew his children were worried about him, he had been hurt by Esme´s behaviour and he had almost gone insane when she'd told him that she felt a love stronger than theirs for a member of the Argentinean coven she lived with now…He couldn't blame them for caring about him, but he'd have preferred if they just behaved like the lively, brawly bunch of teenagers that they were before Esme had left.

He knew they had a long way to go until things would be back to normal again-the children wouldn't let him know but they missed their mother a lot and especially since he was gone half of the day, working in the hospital, they had a lot of free time now…

Suddenly he realized he'd been standing there deliberating all this while everyone was watching him, waiting to say hi.

"Sorry, guys…I guess I was lost in my thoughts right there "he said and sat down on a leather sofa adverting theirs. After a short silence his son Edward stood up and asked" Carlisle-will you play a song for us?!" while he folded up the top cover of the antique piano next to them.

The other children were eying him pleadingly, knowing that once he started playing the piano he was back to his usual self, forgetting all his worries and problems and his past with Esme.

He smiled and sat down at the piano and as usual: as soon as he touched the familiar keys of his piano he forgot the world and became one with the music. His children were listening tensely, even though they'd heard their father playing the piano so many times before and through the half open windows the girl walking on by, going for a walk with her neighbours´ dog, could hear his song. For a moment they had been united in the music.

All the way home she couldn't forget the tune, found herself whistling to it when she was cleaning the dishes after dinner and finally decided to take another walk the next day, hoping that she could hear the sound of this piano again, the sound that made her heart stop for a moment, the sound that made her feel part of something bigger, a world so beautiful she'd never been able to imagine.


	3. Chapter 3

_*** Hope you still like the story, review please, to keep me going: I need your ideas and criticism to improve the story…_

_The song to listen to while reading is: Distant lives, Becoming Jane Soundtrack__***_

Chapter 3

For a while they continued living separate lives, Carlisle was still not back to his usual self but he tried not to let it show, he didn't want to worry his children. Bella was still bored in the small town of Forks and still struggled to bond with Charlie. Something had changed in their lives however. Carlisle and Bella had both lived on with the hope of witnessing another miracle moment. When Carlisle first laid eye on Bella on that August summer day he had the feeling that his life had a sense, that he was not just an abandoned soul stuck in the body of a vampire for all times. He had hope. Something he had never felt since he'd been turned into a vampire-not even with Esme .He started to believe again.

Bella had felt lonely before she had heard this mysterious piano tune, even though her Dad, Charlie , had done whatever he could to make her feel at home, to get closer to the daughter that he'd spent so little time with since her mother had left him and had taken her along.

Now the tune accompanied her everywhere she went. It was the first thing she thought about in the mornings, it was the tune that she silently hummed every night as she went to bed. Whenever she felt self conscious or when she had a typical Bella-moment, like falling down the stairs in school, she would remember the tune and it would keep her going.

Carlisle watched Bella every day as she drove home after school. He even changed shifts with one of his colleagues so he could see her every day. That was what kept him alive, those precious and rare moments with Bella. He still didn't know her name; he still hadn't asked the kids, he had been too embarrassed to ask: what explanation did he have, what should he tell them?! All he knew was that he missed her during the weekend, when she didn't take her friends home by car, and that he couldn't imagine his life without her. Sometimes Bella would stay home, being sick or not wanting to go to school. Carlisle's heart stopped whenever he didn't see her drive to school even though it was a regular school day. The only thing that could calm him down then was driving up to Bella's home and recognizing her familiar smell, hearing her heartbeat and knowing she was still alive.


	4. Chapter 4

_*** The song to listen to is: Dream Evil-Losing you. As always: please review***_

Chapter 4

Winter came and Carlisle still didn't know the mysterious girl. Alice had been acting strange though lately, he guessed she'd seen something that had to do with him and the girl. Alice couldn't look at him anymore. She turned down her gaze whenever he entered the room. The others had, of course noticed, but it seemed like they didn't know anything more than Carlisle did.

Carlisle was worried since he'd noticed the change in Alice's behaviour and he had imagined a lot of horrible things that could happen to the beautiful girl he knew so little about. The worst day was yet to come. When Carlisle came to the kitchen one December morning everyone sat around the table as usual-Everyone but Alice. He knew that Alice had left the house because she couldn't stand being around him today-the day that what she'd seen would become reality. But things didn't have to be that way. Something horrible could happen, but if he found the girl and stayed near her, to protect her, maybe he could prevent it from happening, whatever she'd seen.

He grabbed his car keys and jogged out of the room without a word. He knew he ´d have to answer some questions on that behaviour later on, but he couldn't care about that now. Saving her was all he could think about .It was a Sunday, so she wouldn't be in school. Carlisle drove through the streets of Forks, searching for her, for hours. Then suddenly he felt his body stiffen: he could smell her. She had to be near; he heard the heartbeat that had become so familiar to him during the last months. He stopped the Mercedes: there she was, down by the river, talking to her dad. Her Dad had obviously been fishing, she must have come with him for some company, he guessed. They were about to leave.

Carlisle decided to stay near to them, right now he didn't even care if she noticed him spying on her or not. Saving her was all that mattered. As soon as Bella and her Dad had gotten into the car and headed home he had followed them closely. Carlisle already began deliberating if he'd been right to assume that Alice's behaviour was in some way connected to the fate of this girl, when he noticed a jeep sliding towards Bella's truck-they were in the forest and it was early December in Forks, there was black ice on the streets-"Damn, why didn't I think about that earlier" Carlisle hissed and stopped the car. He ran towards the cars, to the place the accident was about to happen, and realized it was too late to stop the jeep. There would be a crash.

Even Carlisle couldn't stop the accident from happening. All he could do was watch. It tore him apart, the fear of losing the girl before he'd ever had a chance to talk to her and get to know her. He tried to imagine his future without her and decided that this kind of future was not possible at all. He could hear Bella's heart racing, he could feel their panic and it made it all the worse. During all the time he'd lived on this earth there had never been a moment as painful and traumatising than the moment he saw the jeep crashing into Bella's truck, the moment of not knowing if she would survive this accident or not. It seemed to be eternity to Carlisle, but really all this had happened in a couple of seconds.

After the crash there was nothing but silence. Carlisle heard one heartbeat where there'd been three before. He was almost paralyzed; it was hard for him to focus on the heartbeat. Was this Bella? Could he hope? "But what if it's not her" echoed the voice in Carlisle's mind."….gone forever!" Carlisle mobilized all his strength and focused on the heartbeat and the silent breathing he could hear. "She's alive" he shouted and even though he should have felt sorry for her Dad and the lady that had been steering the jeep, he only felt relief. Carefully he freed Bella from the truck. She was barely breathing, silently whimpering in pain. She was beautiful even now, unharmed apart from a gaping wound on her left leg. He loosened his belt and applied it as a tourniquet above her wound. He hoped this would save her until the paramedics would arrive. He hadn't noticed he was shaking before, but now he found it hard to dial the number.

As soon as he'd finished the call he kneeled down, taking Bella's hand. He muttered the same words all over again "Don't leave me, I need you….stay with me", but Bella couldn't hear him, she was surrounded by darkness, she felt weightless and started drifting away…


	5. Chapter 5

*** The song to listen to is "It feels like home" by Chantal Kreviazuk"…

Thanks for the reviews, I will try to update as often as I can…***

Chapter 4

Bella was still surrounded by darkness, she wanted to move, she wanted to wake up, but she couldn´t even open her eyes-it seemed to be impossible. But even though she felt so helpless she wasn't afraid. She knew that there was someone nearby. She didn't know who was there with her and she didn't know if that someone was an actual person or just a hallucination, maybe an illusion that accompanies death, but whatever it was it made her feel good.

Carlisle had stayed with her all the time. He hadn't gone hunting for weeks and he hadn't been working either. He'd even made sure his kids wouldn't have access to Bella's hospital room. He didn't know if he had a lot of time left with her. He'd just found out her name, he'd just found out that her mother lived far away and that she had lived with her Dad, the police officer. He didn't even want to think about losing her now. Sitting next to Bella, watching her sleep, wondering what she'd think of right now, what she experienced was all he wanted to do.

Suddenly there was a hesitant knock on the door, he heard a familiar voice saying "Carlisle…please let me talk to you, please let me in. We `re worried…I know you don't want to leave her and if you don't want to you don't have to go anywhere. Just let me in please…"

It was Alice asking him to open the door and he hadn't recognised her voice right away because she sounded more exhausted, more worried than usual. Even though Bella was still his main priority he decided to give Alice a chance to talk to him, he decided it wasn't fair to exclude them from his life these days. They'd already lost Esme to someone they barely knew, he wouldn't do the same thing all over again.

Carlisle got up and opened the door and the girl that entered the room didn't have a lot in common with the girl she'd been before that December morning that had changed their lives forever. Alice looked tired, she tried to smile because she didn't want to worry him, but she didn't manage to deceive him this time. Carlisle suddenly felt guilty and he started to realize he should have called the kids or should have let them see him.

They had looked at each other in silence for a while when Carlisle tenderly wrapped his arm around Alice and whispered: "Alice, I am so sorry…I didn't want to leave you alone, I know you need me…especially since Esme is gone. It's just so hard right now. This girl, Bella-there's something special about her it feels like home to me when I am with her, she makes me feel whole again. It's not even been that way with your mother. Of course I was happy when I was with Esme, but she could never make me forget what I am. I was never able to forget that I was condemned to this life until the end of time. Now that I have met this girl suddenly everything has changed…."

Alice didn't have to reply. She had hugged Carlisle more tightly than she'd ever done before and then just smiled knowingly. She looked at Bella, who still fought for her life but looked so beautiful that it was hard to believe that she was an ordinary human being. Not only to Carlisle, who had already fallen for her when he'd seen her for the first time, but also to Alice she looked more beautiful than most of the vampires they'd met so far. They both stood there in silence for a couple of minutes, then Alice smiled and turned to Carlisle.

"I had a vision last night and I hope I don't give away too much by telling you this: I know that there is a great future ahead for you. I couldn't really see too much, maybe because she's in this state right now and can't make any decisions -you know how my visions work…but I know how it will feel for you to have her in your life, I could feel it already.

All I can say is that I am terribly jealous" she said and punched his arm in joke.

"I am not even sure if there's a word for what I felt" she continued, still smiling. "I guess that's what it feels like to find the place that you belong"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 4

*** Well there's a lot of free time on my hands today, so I might as well add a few more chapters ;-) As usual: please review und tell me what you liked and didn't like, it's the only way I can improve the story….

The song that fits this chapter best is "Lullaby" by the band Creed"

Carlisle regained a bit of hope when he heard Alice say these things. Maybe there would be a future for Bella and him, she would fall for him, too….but even if they'd be just friends he would have all that he needed. As long as he could see her, feel like he belonged here he would be as happy as he could possibly be.

He still worried about Bella but after Alice's last statements he suddenly what had happened between her and Jasper. "Alice…is there something wrong with you and Jasper? Did you have a fight?" he asked apprehensively. Alice avoided his gaze and hesitantly responded" Well…no we didn't have a fight. It's just different when you're not there. A lot of things have changed since Mum went away. You and Mum were married and happy for such a long time, everyone thought you'd live happily ever after…Look what happened. I always believed in love, in the unconditional and never ending kind of love, but now I can't imagine anyone being in madly in love until the end of their days. I still love Jasper-but do I love him enough?"

Carlisle now had a conscience that was even worse than before: how had he been able to leave his children behind and neglect all his responsibilities? Why hadn't he tried to talk to them about Esme. Sure it hadn't been easy for him when she left, but how had he been able to completely ignore his children's needs and their pain after their mother had gone…

He could see that Alice tried her best to keep back her tears now and he could barely take looking at his daughter when she was in so much pain. Carlisle was unsure what to do and asked himself if it would be the right thing to hug her and tell her everything would be ok, when he wasn't even convinced of that himself. But he didn't need to decide:

Alice leaped towards him and threw her arms around him. He held his sobbing daughter and padded her back until she calmed down .Then he gently kissed her upon her forehead.

Alice turned towards the door, preparing to leave. "Dad, I love you. I'll tell the others you are fine and that there's no need to worry. You should really allow yourself a break though, maybe you should go hunting, too…you look exhausted. If you want to just call me then and I will stay here with Bella so you don't have to worry about her…" she said and left the room, carefully shutting the door behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

*** The song that fits this chapter best is Mercy by One Republic

I will add the next chapter as soon as i find the time to finish it won´t stay in a coma forever, dont worry;)***

Taking one long look at Bella, as if to treasure this moment forever, Carlisle left the room. He had thought about what Alice had told him, then called her to make sure Bella was safe while he was away hunting. Alice had come right away and already sat next to Bella, even without words she made him understand that Bella would be safe while she was here and that he shouldn't worry.

Carlisle stepped towards them, kissed them both on their foreheads and then he leaped out of the window and disappeared in the woods. He had almost forgotten how liberating it felt to run through the forests and fields at top speed. The hunting part was never something he enjoyed, he only went on hunts because he had to, but enjoyed the other abilities he was given as a vampire. Just after having sated his thirst he noticed how weak and underfed he'd really been and wondered if Bella had been endangered by this careless behaviour. He didn't even want to imagine what he could have done to her, if he hadn't gone on a hunt for another week.

Carlisle hadn't noticed that thinking about all this he'd come to a halt. He found himself standing on a cliff that rose high above the sea, the view was fantastic. The sun was about to set and reddish golden light illuminated the sea ahead of him. It was then that he realized how lucky he actually was. He had a caring family that would always be there for him and he'd had the chance to meet a girl as wonderful as Bella. That was already more than some people were ever allowed to experience. For the first time he also realized that he also felt relief because Esme had left. He was still not happy about the fact that she'd left their children behind but he understood now, that they hadn't been meant to be together. There had been a lot of similarities between Esme and him, but sometimes their opinions had just been too different to find a compromise. Maybe leaving him had been the best thing Esme could have done, maybe she'd felt earlier on what he began to feel now. He was ready for a new start. Ready for a life with Bella…Bella was like an angel of mercy, sent to rescue him. What had he done to deserve her? How would they be able to coexist? Was it really true that opposites attract or would Bella be repelled if she found who he really was?


	8. Chapter 8

_*** Alright guys, thanks for reading, I hope you still enjoy the story. This will be the last chapter for today since I have an English exam tomorrow and have to a bit of study before I go to bed ___

_The song to listen to is the "River Waltz" by Alexandre Desplat ***_

Chapter 8

When Carlisle returned to the hospital he found Alice standing in front of Bella's room.

He ran scared, not knowing what was going on and ran towards Alice, having to ask her what had happened.

Before he could open his mouth Alice blurted out: "Dad, don't panic, ok? She's fine. In fact: she's even awake now. She remembers everything…It took her a moment to realize where she was and then she just lay there murmuring something like " I don't hear the tune anymore…what happened…?!" I was about to ask her what she meant by that, when she remembered the car crash and started screaming and crying. I wanted to comfort her, but she didn't know me so of course it didn't work. You can see her through the door window. She's there in the corner, seems like she's calmed down a bit…poor thing."

Carlisle was relieved to hear she was ok and also a bit happy about the fact that she was no longer in a coma, but he also tried to imagine what it would feel like to lose your father at this age, especially when he was the only person you had left to hold on to. Bella had seemed so happy and relaxed when he'd seen her with her Dad. She didn't have a place to go now and nobody was there to support her, at least nobody she knew yet.

Carlisle stood there, looking at her through the window and suddenly her pain was his pain, too. This was more than compassion-he felt the exact same thing. He also felt the change in her aura and heard the change in her heartbeat: he could still recognize Bella's heartbeat, it was special as always, but somehow slower…it seemed like time had slowed down for Bella. Carlisle turned to Alice and said: "Darling, would you please leave me alone with her for a while? I need to talk to her privately". Alice nodded and hugged Carlisle before she left the hospital.

Carlisle then took one deep breath and then entered the hospital room. He'd thought about knocking first, but then he had decided that Bella wouldn't answer anyway, the only way to get to talk to her was to surprise her this way.

He was wrong about Bella not noticing him, though. Bella had seemed lost in her thoughts before, but as soon as Carlisle had entered the room she looked up and noticed "The tune…I can hear it now. What did you do? Am I hallucinating? Am I losing my mind" and then she murmured to herself "What does it matter anyway? Maybe I would be better off if I lost my mind. How can you cope with a life like this when you are aware of everything and perfectly capable of your senses anyway..."

He didn't know what tune she was talking about, but he wanted to make her feel better. He didn't want to talk about her loss right away, doubted she would be capable of that yet, therefore he decided to introduce himself first. Kneeling down beside her he informed her:

"My name is Carlisle Cullen. I'm a doctor" She didn't need to know he had been present when the accident happened …

Bella forgot about her loss and her problems for a moment when she looked more closely at the man who'd just introduced himself. He was about 30 and very handsome, he reminded her of a movie star. His eyes weren't like anything she'd ever seen before. They seemed to be golden, but Bella decided that either she really was losing her mind or that she'd been given calmatives or a similar medication, that made her see things differently for a while.

Then Carlisle asked her: "I heard you talking about a tune-do you like music?"

Bella was a bit puzzled by this question and answered "Yes", even though she didn't understand why this was important right now…But before she could ask Carlisle why he had to know, he continued " It always makes me feel better to listen to music or to play the piano for a while. There's a piano in the recreation room down the corridor, would it make you feel better if we went there and I played something on the piano for you? If you want to I´ll play your favourite song? "And then he added" If you would rather be alone, I will leave of course. You don't have to go anywhere. I just thought you'd like…."

Bella interrupted him: "I think I'd like to hear music now, you're right. Thanks for asking"

She got up in order to go to the recreation room with him. It took her a while to stand up straight, having spent all the time in the coma and trying to cope with the loss of her father that was only natural.-Carlisle found it hard to watch her in this state though. Not only the doctor in him was concerned and worried, but also the man who'd fallen in love with this girl and the father who cared for his own daughters as much as he cared for this girl in front of him. He had to fight the urge to lift her into his arms and carry her to the recreation room, where he'd place her on the couch and wrap her into a warm blanket, but he doubted Bella would accept a behaviour like this: she barely knew him after all.

Bella slowly made her way to the room while Carlisle watched her every movement, ready to catch her if she should fall. When they reached the room he opened the door for her and asked her what song she'd like to hear. Bella was exhausted so she babbled "Whatever you like, really. I'll just sit down now and listen if that's ok" and walked towards the couch.

Carlisle carefully opened the cover of the piano and sat down. Bella's eyes didn't leave him once.

He started playing and all that existed now was this room. For a moment they concentrated on nothing but the music and the feeling that overwhelmed them.

This felt like home.


	9. Chapter 9

_*** English exams are over so here's another update. Hope you still enjoy the story and review to let me know what you think, and maybe inspire me _

_;-)_

_Perfect song for this chapter is True Colours by Eva Cassidy***_

Chapter 9

Bella felt like the weight of the world had been taken off her shoulders and was able to calm down, now that Carlisle was with her and this beautiful music surrounded her. When Carlisle had finished his song he turned to look if Bella was ok and found her fallen asleep.

Bella was curled up on the couch, lost in her dreams. Careful not to wake her, Carlisle sneaked towards Bella and wrapped a blanket around her and then, as cautiously as he could, he lifted her up into his arms and carried her to her room, where he gently put her to bed.

Carlisle then sat there for a while, grateful for these moments that he would treasure forever and overwhelmed by her smell, her looks and the parts of her personality that he'd gotten to know so far. It seemed like she'd been sent to him from heaven, every moment with her made him feel a peace he'd not known before.

Knowing that she'd been crying a lot before he'd returned from the hunt, he decided Bella would be sleeping for a couple of hours and drew the conclusion that it would be safe to visit his family briefly. He stroked her cheek and again took a deep breath to inhale the scent that fascinated him so much and then left the room quietly. Before he left the hospital though he asked one of his colleagues to take care of Bella while he was gone and to call him immediately in case she woke up: he didn't want to leave Bella alone for a second, knowing what it felt like to be alone, to not have a family.

Getting home he found his children gathered in the living room: Edward was about to collect a dozen empty burger wrappings from the floor, Rosalie and Jasper were trying to clean the couch that was covered with stains and Emett and Alice swept shattered dishes.

When they noticed he'd entered embarrassed silence filled the room and looking at them, standing in front of him like little children waiting to be punished he couldn't help but smile.

"Well…we thought you'd stay with Bella today…erm…as you probably guessed already we invited some of our classmates to the house. With you and Mum gone we felt a little lonely and we were bored so we figured we might as well socialize a bit. We all went hunting before they came over, so there was really no danger at all…You're not mad, Dad, are you?" Edward blurted out before Carlisle could ask what had been going on.

"Finally" Carlisle thought "things are getting back to normal again. They are still not as vivid as before all this happened but at least they start to take part in life again." And smirking he let them know" You know: I was young once, too…It's been a while, but I still know how to have fun. Who cares about furniture? Right now I'm just happy that the family is united again and that you haven't battered each others heads while I was with Bella."

Remembering that he'd planned to let his children take part in his thoughts and in his life again, he asked them to sit down and listen to him for a while.

"I realized a lot of things while I was away. First of all: I am sorry for abandoning you…I was so tangled up in my own thoughts and problems that I forgot to check if you were o.K. and hope you'll forgive me for that.

Also, I know now, that this is hard for you, too. I thought only I was having trouble getting used to this life without Esme…but Alice made me understand that you suffer as well...

I want to let you know that whenever you need a shoulder to cry or want to talk about your mother you can come to me. And if there's one thing I know for sure that I will never leave you, I promise you that. If there's one thing that will last forever it's the coherence of this family. Once a Cullen, always a Cullen…I love you guys even though you have the capability of straining my nerves to the limit sometimes."

Carlisle was interrupted by his children when they chanted "We love you too, Dad."

And relieved that things were about to get back to normal and that his family was still intact; Carlisle decided it was safe to talk to them about Bella, too. He didn't know how they would respond to what he had to tell them, but he was sure their reaction would be worse if they found out he hadn't been completely honest with them.

"I suppose you have heard a few things about Bella already", he started off," I had met her a couple of times before her accident, but never talked to her…I was curious to get to know her, but to be honest I lacked the courage" Carlisle paused for a moment, unsure how to go on, when he noticed they were all smiling at him in disbelief which made him wonder if they had thought he had never been afraid or that he wasn't afraid to be let down. Then he remembered he'd thought the same about his father once and understood..." To make things short" he continued" I like Bella and I would be happy if she could be part of our lives. I am not quite sure about what precisely that means for our family and what part Bella will have in our lives, but since she is all alone now and doesn't have a family, maybe we could try to support her and help her cope with her loss as a start." He finished off and looked at his children questioningly.

He was surprised when Jasper was the first one to reply "I think we all know what it feels like to be lonely and what it's worth to have a family that cares for you and will be there for you in your darkest hour…If you ask me we should help her. Plus: if she makes you happy, whatever you decide to do will be fine with us." And the others nodded in agreement.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

*** _Perfect song: Kiss the rain by Yiruma _

_Review please, I need motivation;-)_***

Carlisle had gotten into his car right away when his colleague, Will, had called to tell him Bella was awake now. She was alright, but Carlisle didn't want to tempt providence and leave her alone for too long.

He found her in the recreation room, sitting at the piano. Outside there was a heavy storm and you could hear the dabbling of the rain even though the windows were shut. Bella played a lovely tune, it reminded him of a lullaby. He had noticed that Bella was crying, rocking to the melody, probably to calm her down .Once again he had to force himself not to embrace her, so he just stood leaning onto the doorframe and watched her play. She looked so fragile, so innocent and yet she had to face so much pain. He wished he would be the one in pain instead…when you had forever to live, there was much more time for your wounds to heal…

The song had ended. Bella shut her eyes for a moment and then started sobbing heavily. She was barely able to breathe. Carlisle, unable to take it any longer, walked towards her and said under his breath "Shhh…Bella. I'm here now." and before he could say another word Bella hugged him as tight as she could. Still sobbing she said "He's gone…How I can possibly live without him? I tried to remember what my life had been like when he was with me, tired to revive the feelings I had when I was with him, but the memory is fading already."

Bella paused and took another deep breath, suppressing another sob. " I mean how is this even possible...how can I not remember the sound of his voice?…And…I always wanted him to see me graduate, guide me down the aisle when I get married one day, to see him play with his grandchildren…he won't see any of this now and I won't be able to share those moments with the person I loved the most…"

Bella was crying again, clearly not able to suppress her feelings anymore and almost shouting she went on "So tell me: Why him? Why not me? What did I do to deserve this?" and turning her head towards the ceiling as if to talk to God and drumming with both fists upon Carlisle chest she went on " Are you happy now?! Is this what you wanted?", then buried her head in Carlisle's arms, giving way to her emotions. Carlisle decided not to say anything, words wouldn't help Bella right now. Instead he just stood there, holding her.

After a while Bella had stopped crying and let go of Carlisle. He could see that she now found this emotional release embarrassing and wished she hadn't been that upfront to someone who was still almost a stranger. She looked cute blushing and trying to behave all formal now.

Carlisle had to suppress a smirk. He was about to leave the room and give her some alone-time but Bella changed her mind

"Erm…Carlisle?"

" Yes, Bella?"

"Would you stay here tonight? I don't want to be alone and when you are here I feel a little calmer…" she paused and then added " No, sorry I shouldn't have asked. You probably have a family and a wife to come home to, they need you, too. And I am not that good of a company right now…"

Carlisle interrupted her:" I do have a family, but they are used to me being on night shifts. They don't mind. And I would love to keep you company tonight, Bella."

Bella was tired, but she couldn't sleep. Carlisle hummed his favourite tune to calm her down.

It was then that Bella realized he'd been playing the piano when she'd heard the tune that August day and the feeling she had already felt the day she first heard this beautiful melody spread throughout her whole body. Feeling whole again for a moment she drifted off and fell fast asleep...

To the day ended like so many of them had ended before: Carlisle sat next to the bed and kept her company all night, admiring his "sleeping beauty".


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Bella woke up the first thing was to search the room for Carlisle. He still sat next to her, looking as if he hadn't moved all night. Bella wondered if he ever slept, he never even seemed tired even though he barely had a moment to relax. But before she could think more intensely about Carlisle and his possible lack of sleep she noticed a tray next to her.

There were croissants that were still oven-warm, a can with orange juice that looked as if it had been freshly made and also a lot of fruits that looked delicious. There was also a bar of chocolate, the sort with caramel in it that Bella loved so much and a bouquet of violet orchids. This was a pleasant surprise to Bella considering that she usually ate a bowl of cereals every morning, during the five minutes she usually had between leaving the bathroom and having to leave the house for school. She looked at Carlisle in amazement and asked him "Did you do all this? How did you know that I just love those chocolate bars? "

"Well, I am a doctor, too. I thought it was about time you got something to eat and I thought you would surely appreciate a breakfast in bed, especially on a day as beautiful as this"

He didn't tell her that he had sent Alice to a bakery in France and a market in Spain to get these things, Bella still didn't know their secret and he didn't plan on telling her too soon.

How did he know what kind of chocolate she likes? Well, he'd also sent his sons Edward and Jasper to the Swan's house to get a few of Bella's things, so she would feel at home a little in this aseptic hospital room. Carlisle had set up a strict rule for that visit to the Swan's house: no invasive action whatsoever. He didn't want them to read her diary or to rummage around in her belongings. Their task was to get a few clothes for Bella, maybe a stuffed animal or some sort of talisman and if they found one, they could take an mp3 player, too.

Edward and Jasper came around when they had found these things and seized their chance of meeting Bella. She had still been asleep but for now the guys were content just watching their new companion. Bella's aura was special, they could feel it, too. If they hadn't known that Carlisle had already fallen for her, they would have told him that they seemed to match perfectly, so they just kept their thoughts to themselves. Jasper couldn't stand being around Bella for too long: he was tempted by her blood. And Jasper had another problem while being around her: He could feel what she felt. This had always been his ability, so feel what other people felt and then change and manipulate these emotions. Bella's emotions were far from ordinary though.

He could feel a sadness that was painful and almost made him wince when it took him by surprise, but there was also a feeling that Jasper didn't know. He couldn't find a word for it. "This must be what Alice has told me about" he said under his breath and said a quick goodbye to Carlisle so he didn't have to stand this clutter of emotions any longer. Edward took the chance and told Carlisle what he thought:

"Carlisle, I think you made the right decision. It's dangerous to let her take part in our family life, but I can see why you did this. Seeing you two, there's no doubt that there was a reason that she was brought into your life. This can't be a coincidence. I don't know her yet, there'll be plenty to catch up on later, but it seems that she is a little calmer than the rest of us, just like you are. Maybe she's the ease of mind we've been missing."

"Thank you, son." Carlisle responded and hugged his son. When Edward had left he carefully arranged Bella's belongings , put the stuffed bear they had found next to her pillow and arranged her clothes on a chair so she could change into some more comfortable and more familiar clothes later on. Putting her jacket onto the chair as well he noticed a rustling. First he assumed that Bella had woken up, but when he looked she was still fast asleep.

The rustling came from the jacket. Curious what would be in the pockets and deciding she wouldn't keep anything too private in them, he investigated them and found bars of Bella's favourite chocolate: crunchy caramel…

Bella didn't need a longer explanation right now. She believed Carlisle when he told her about his concerns, perfectly aware that she had barely eaten since she'd awoken from the coma. Usually she would have been embarrassed having Carlisle watch her eat, but she didn't care right now. Bella grabbed the croissant and took a mouthful.

Carlisle watched her eat and smirked, this was just like their first meeting: Bella was all concentrated and seemed to enjoy herself and he guessed she'd be embarrassed later on again, when she realized he'd been there all the time, watching her.

Bella ate it all: the fruits, the chocolate and the croissants, then looked at Carlisle and said

"Carlisle, Thank you. This was an excellent breakfast and I enjoyed it very much. In fact I think I never had a breakfast as good as this in my entire life." She smiled at him and added

"And thank you for the flowers …and for being around."

And so for the first time Carlisle felt he could embrace her, she didn't seem to mind being around him and she had opened up to him, this was a good sign.

He embraced her and so they stood for a while, feeling as if they could rule the world if they wanted to, listening to each other breathing and happy to know they were together and alive.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_***** The song is „ Good morning**__**"by Lionel Richie , which I also recommend for listening while reading this chapter. Sometimes I wish Carlisle would spend a day like this with me ;-) Hope you like and enjoy this chapter as much as I do …******_

_The sun creeps in,  
She says I love you with a smile on her face.  
If time could stand still  
We could lay under the covers all day_

She makes this a home  
In winter keeps me warm  
In summer makes it hot for me  
In the fall & spring fresh lovin she brings  
When I open up my eyes she sings

Good morning  
It's a beautiful day  
When I'm with her  
With me she lays

Good morning  
Another beautiful day  
The sun rises  
When I see your face  
Everyday  
Good morning  
Good morning

Sometimes I wake  
A little grumpy, moody  
She says no way  
Cause she's so positive  
She gives me love  
Gets me ready for my day

She makes this a home  
In winter keeps me warm  
In summer makes it hot for me  
In the fall & spring fresh lovin she brings  
When I open up my eyes she sings

Good morning  
It's a beautiful day  
When I'm with her  
With me she lays

Good morning  
Another beautiful day  
The sun rises  
When I see your face  
Everyday  
Good morning  
Good morning  
Good morning

_When Bella woke up Carlisle __wasn't next to her as usual. Instead there was a rose lying next to her and a note saying "Good morning, love. I hate not to see you wake up today, but I have got a surprise for you…I love you, Carlisle" and Bella knew already that this would be a wonderful day. Wrapping the blanket around her she stepped out of their bedroom. She could hear music from the living room and followed the music. There was only one person in this world, playing the piano like this, moving her deeply: Carlisle. She expected to find him sitting at the piano, instead there was a CD with another note by Carlisle:" Well done…You found the first hint. I recorded you this CD, so you always have me with you, even when I am out hunting. Go upstairs to find the next hint, Bella."_

_Bella rushed up the stairs and was surprised by the scent that engulfed her all of a sudden._

_It was wonderful: a mixture of cinnamon, flowers and fruit. She turned to see where it came from and found the bathroom door open. When she entered she saw Carlisle's next surprise: the bathtub was filled and ready for her to slide in. Bella could relax and listen to the birds chirping in the garden. Carlisle had laid the newspaper next to her, onto the windowsill. The towels were placed on the heating, warm and cosy, waiting for Bella to get out of the bathtub._

_Bella couldn't believe this guy was hers. Carlisle had probably guessed she'd step right out of bed to search him, so he'd placed a pair of slippers next to the tub._

_Bella had an idea why he hadn't put any clothes next to them, so she smiled and went on searching Carlisle._

_There was a note placed on the doorknob from the inside. It said" Hope you enjoyed your bath. Meet me in the kitchen"_

_Running as fast as she could with the blanket still wrapped around her she moved towards the kitchen. Carlisle was standing there, preparing pancakes and a vanilla milkshake for his wife._

_He had always loved cooking and food, it had been one of his passions when he was a human._

_He smirked when he laid eyes on her, she had never looked more beautiful than __now, wrapped in a blanket and with damp hair. He said "Happy wedding anniversary, Darling." And kissed her passionately…_

Alice smiled when the vision was over. Carlisle would soon ask her if she'd had any visions lately, he always did. She didn't intend on telling him what she'd just seen though. She was happy that they had both realized that they were meant to be together, if consciously or not, but she didn't want to ruin it for them. Love was so much more fun and excitement when you didn't know what was ahead of you. And even if she told him: Her visions didn't always show the definite future…

But seeing that a love between two people that lived in two different worlds was possible Alice regained her belief in love…


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

_***Here we go…another chapter :-__) It's short, I know…but I have a lot of studying to do and can only spent a little time writing. I hope to be able to write another chapter tonight, but I can't make any promises. The lyrics included are by Brahms (lullaby) and the perfect song to listen to while reading this is "Collide" by Howie day…_

_Review please, to let me know if you still like the story. ***_

Carlisle had to check on a few patients so he told Bella he'd be back as soon as he could and then left her alone for a while. Bella was restless while he wasn't around her so she decided to leave the hospital room for a while and explore the hospital. She sat in the cafeteria for a while watching others waiting for a beloved one to get out of surgery or for a child to be born.

It made her wonder who'd be there waiting for her if anything happened to her. Sure Carlisle would make sure she was ok, because he was a doctor and obliged to save lives…but were they close enough?

Bella felt the desperation rise up inside her again and quickly left the cafeteria. She didn't want to cry in front of all these people. Wandering through the corridors of the hospital in order to find a quiet place to calm down, she came across the baby ward.

The nurse seemed to be gone on a break so Bella felt safe enough to creep in.

This place was so peaceful- most of the babies were fast asleep. All that filled the room was their heavy breathing. It was in this moment that Bella realized that no matter what, life would always go on. It calmed her down, made her hope again.

Bella's attention was drawn to a baby in the back of the room that had woken with a start and was now whimpering silently. Without thinking Bella went up to the baby's cradle and took the infant into her arms, rocking it from side to side. She started singing a lullaby for the baby, her melodic voice filling the room:

_Lullaby, and good night, with pink roses bedight,  
With lilies o'er spread, is my baby's sweet head.  
Lay thee down now, and rest, may thy slumber be blessed!  
Lay thee down now, and rest, may thy slumber be blessed! _

_Lullaby, and good night, your mother's delight,  
Shining angels beside my darling abide.  
Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes and rest your head.  
Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes and rest your head. _

_Sleepyhead, close your eyes. Mother's right here beside you.  
I'll protect you from harm; you will wake in my arms.  
Guardian angels are near, so sleep on, with no fear.  
Guardian angels are near, so sleep on, with no fear._

Carlisle had been standing in the door frame watching her all the time. He knew this lullaby, it had been sung throughout the centuries. Once he had been sung to sleep with it by his own mother, too. He had always imagined scenes like this when he thought about his future –before he was changed into a vampire.

The baby had calmed down and drifted off now so Carlisle approached Bella and whispered from behind her back: "That was a nice lullaby, Bella. You'll be an excellent mother one day. You know, I always come here, too when I feel down. When one of them smiles at you, it just makes your day…"

Bella nodded, still amazed how beautiful the infant before her looked while sleeping.

Carlisle took another step forward so that he was less than an inch away from Bella.

Bella could no longer concentrate. She could smell Carlisle's aftershave, probably the best thing she'd smelled in her entire life, and she could feel Carlisle's breath in her neck.

It sent a shiver throughout her whole body. Carlisle noticed that Bella's heart rate had quickened, he could hear the blood rushing to her head. "This is probably the best compliment I've ever gotten" he thought, smirking, and placed his hand slightly above her hip, eager to find out if Bella had feelings for him, too.

Bella turned around and stood there facing him now. They stood there looking at each other intensely for a moment, then Bella turned down her gaze. Carefully he took her face into his palms and lowered his lips down onto hers. The soft touch of her lips, her sweet taste and the smell of her hair…Carlisle had never experienced something remotely as intensive as this and enjoyed every second of it. It was Bella's first kiss, she'd always thought all the guys in Forks were geeks, but apparently she had been wrong…Kissing Carlisle felt so good she couldn't imagine anything in this world that would make her feel as blessed and whole as this.


	14. Chapter 14

_*** __Last chapter for today, I just noticed I need to finish off a whole presentation on psychology until tomorrow…Thanks for all the reviews so far, it helps a lot to hear what you think about the story…_

_Perfect song: Pat Monahan - Her Eyes__***_

Chapter 14

They were interrupted by the nurse of the baby ward who returned from her break. Even Carlisle hadn't noticed she was coming: All his senses had focused on Bella, on their kiss.

As soon as the nurse entered the room she coughed disgustedly. Secretly she had always fancied Carlisle and had often tried to draw his attention to her but had been turned down politely time after time. Bella and Carlisle reluctantly let go of each other. Bella just wished the ground would open and swallow her, she half-hid behind Carlisle now.

Carlisle had to smile: Bella seemed so strong and almost invincible sometimes and others she was as shy as a little girl, reminding him how fragile she really was. He loved everything about her and every facet that there was to her character. Still smirking he took Bella's hand and led her out of the room, casually saying "Beautiful day, isn't it? I hope you enjoyed your break" towards the nurse as if nothing had happened.

The nurse had wanted to edify them just a minute ago but now that Carlisle was smiling at her she couldn't even remember what she had been about to say…

They had now left the ward, but Carlisle didn't let go of Bella's hand and led her outside the hospital. "I want to show you something, Bella…" he whispered, just so loud she could hear him. For a while they kept on walking and finally reached a lake near to the hospital.

Seeing that Bella was still blushed Carlisle laughed and declared

"Bella, were far enough from the hospital now, there's no one but us….Relax! "and then told her to sit down on the bench that stood next to the lake.

He started to take off his jacket and when he noticed the questioning expression on Bella's face he placed her head on this shoulder and whispered "Just relax, Bella…Trust me. Just wait another moment and you will understand why I brought you here."

Bella didn't have a reason not to believe him, so she finally relaxed and enjoyed being so close to Carlisle, inhaling his smell with every breath and savouring the chill of his touch that felt so good upon her still slightly blushed skin. She hadn't felt this comfortable and secure in a long time.

Suddenly it started raining and Bella was about to ask Carlisle to go back to the hospital, when she realized that this had been what he wanted to show her:

The sound of the rain falling onto the lake sounded almost like a sonata. The sun was still shining so the sun's reflection on the water engulfed the surroundings of the lake into a warm and gaudy light. This was the most beautiful thing that Bella had ever seen and it made her feel so happy she almost cried. Overwhelmed by this wonder of nature Bella held on to Carlisle even tighter. He was now holding his jacket above her head so she wouldn't get wet.

_She's beautiful. So beautiful._

He had always loved this wonder of nature, too, but it was so much more rewarding when there was someone to share this experience with. He was also listening to the sound of the rain falling onto the lake, but instead of watching the nature surrounding him, he watched Bella. Nothing came close to the feeling he had when he was with her and he had never seen anything as the smile she was showing at this very moment. He had already thought he wouldn't experience the thrill of living anymore, after so many centuries in this world, but it seemed he had been wrong. Ever since Bella had become part in his life he felt excitement and happiness thinking about his future. Where there had been desperation before, the feeling of being condemned to live forever, now there was his deep love for Bella and gratitude of being alive.

_Her eyes, that's where hope lies._

_That's where blue skies_

_Meet the sunrise._

_Her eyes, that's where I go_

_When I go home._


	15. Chapter 15

_***I´m almost done with the presentation, so I´ll hopefully be able to update quicker the next few days. The next chapter will include the rest of the family, Bella will finally meet all of the Cullens… :-) _

_The text to the second poem included in this chapter is by Jason D. Megary._

_The perfect song to go along with this chapter is "Reflection" by Jim Brickman .Review please and let me know what you think .***_

Bella was overwhelmed with joy and she wanted to show Carlisle how she felt about being here with him. She had enjoyed their kiss but still felt uneasy, making an attempt to kiss Carlisle now. She turned her head towards him and then paused, deliberating what angle to arrange her head in and where to keep her hands while kissing. This had been so much easier when Carlisle's kiss had taken her by surprise. She hadn´t noticed that Carlisle was looking at her, smirking so she kept on thinking about the best way to kiss him. Then she bent forward carefully placing one hand on Carlisle´s knee and the other one faint-heartedly stroking his cheek. Bella worked up all her courage and lowered her lips down on his-being so close to Carlisle all her worries were gone.

She had always wondered what would be so special about kisses in the rain, thinking people must have lost their minds to stand in the rain, getting cold and wet, possibly catching a flu. Now she knew.

She could feel the slight taste of salt on her lips, the rain rushing down her face. She couldn´t keep her eyes off his beautiful face, raindrops rolling down his forehead, past his eyes, down his cheek-It all felt so intense.

After a while Carlisle pulled away from her and reached for his jacket, still lying on the bench, to then wrap it around Bella. He told her "Bella, love. I ´ll get you inside now. Your clothes are drenched and you´ll probably get a pneumonia if we don´t get you into some dry clothes right now…"

Bella didn´t want to leave, but he was the doctor and probably knew best, so she decided to be reasonable and go inside. Carlisle led her to the back entrance, knowing she wouldn´t like to meet the nurse again and as he held the door open for her and pointed to a nearby bench.

"I´ll grab a few things, Bella. Just sit down here for a moment, I´ll be right back. "He said, kissed her onto her forehead and then left. Bella was left behind on the bench, still smiling, wondering if this had really just happened to her and replaying the last hour over and over in her head. Carlisle was back already, carrying a blanket. He folded it up and wrapped it around her still worried she would be cold. Gently he directed her towards her room and then told her "I filled the bathtub for you, a nice long bath would probably do you good right now…And there are some warm clothes next to the bathtub. I´ll stay here, reading if that's ok for you."

Bella nodded thankfully and kissed him on the cheek, whispering "Don´t move", then she went into the bathroom. She hadn´t noticed how under cooled she had been until she had the chance to get out of her drenched clothes and into the warm water. When she felt warm enough, Bella got out of the bathtub and got into the comfy clothes Carlisle had placed next to the tub. He had brought her a lacy white sleep set, beautiful, feminine and made of very soft fabric. It reminded her of the nightdresses she had seen women wear in Jane Austen movies. Next to the pajamas she found a pair of ballet flats, they were rose and with silk ribbon ties to wrap around her ankles. Bella barely went shopping. She hated seeing all the other girls trying on fancy clothes and immediately looking amazing, when it took her a couple of hours to found a half-decent pair of jeans. But these clothes Carlisle had brought her were just beautiful. She wouldn´t have went for something this feminine herself, but trying them on and looking at them in the mirror she liked what she saw. With her hair still damp she carefully opened the bathroom door and approached Carlisle.

Looking at Bella coming from the bathroom Carlisle decided he had to thank Alice again: she had once again proven her excellent taste in clothes, getting this beautiful outfit for Bella. The lacy outfit accentuated her perfect and feminine body, it looked sexy without showing too much skin. Bella´s curly hair fell freely over her shoulders and a few strands of her hair hung limply about her face. He had known Bella was beautiful, but had been used to seeing her in worn out jeans and comfy T-shirts. Seeing her dressed up like this made him speechless, he felt blessed because this beautiful girl was his.

Bella sat on down on the bed, next to Carlisle and asked "So what are you reading?"

"Its one of my favorite books" Carlisle declared "It´s a collection of love letters, collected throughout the centuries"

"Will you read some of them to me?" Bella asked, narrowing her head down to his shoulder.

Carlisle answered" Sure, love. There´s nothing I would rather do. But here: have something to eat first." and handed her a plate with a delicious smelling and looking pizza on it. Bella wondered if there was ever a thing he didn´t consider and being hungry, she started eating right away. When she had finished eating he handed her a cup of hot chocolate and began reading:

_Why I love you_

_I love you for so many reasons_

_Big and small_

_And all of them are wonderful_

_I love you for all the special qualities_

_That make you one of a kind_

_The only one in the world for me_

_I love you for the things you do_

_That bring such a wonderful meaning to my life_

_I love you for the silent times_

_When your eyes and arms tell me all that I want to know_

_I love you_

_Just because I do_

_Because now_

_In the deepest part of my heart_

_A place where there was nothing before_

_There is love_

_Love always_

When he finished reading Carlisle noticed Bella was crying. Gently he wiped away the tears from her eyes and caressed her back as Bella whispered: "Carlisle…I love you". He responded "I love you too, Bella" and then he kissed her tenderly. Bella was tired, but she couldn´t find any sleep so she had to make sure Carlisle wouldn´t leave her alone and whispered "Will you stay, Carlisle?"Tucking her in, he responded "I will not leave you for a second, Bella" and watched her drift off. In that vey moment he remembered a poem that he had read in school when he was about Bella´s age. Back then none of it had made any sense, but now he understood the meaning…

_Your Eyes Have That Sparkle,  
That I Can't Live Without;  
One Day Without Them,  
And I'd Die There's No Doubt._

And I Just Lose Control,  
When I Glance At Your Hair;  
Those Curls Are Just Stunning,  
So Perfect And Rare.

You're The Most Caring Person,  
That I've Ever Met;  
There's No One Like You,  
And That I Can Bet.

What Attracts Me The Most,  
Is Your Sweet And Kind Touch;  
You're A Gift Sent From Heaven,  
And I Love You So Much.

So Hold Me As Close,  
As You Possibly Can;  
'Cause Now And Forever,  
I Am Your Man.


	16. Chapter 16

_***The 16__th__ chapter already…wow .Never thought I´d get on with the story so quickly...Glad you enjoyed the last chapter, many more to come .I mentioned Bella would meet the Cullens in this chapter already, but I decided to wait with that. Think she needs to know more about them first. But I promise chapter 17 will be when she meets them!!The perfect song for this chapter:_ _The Wilkinsons - You Heal Me (the lyrics to the song are included in this chapter!)***_

_Chapter 16_

_It'd be the height of understatement,_

_If I told you_

_That I'm a lucky man_

_Be the biggest lie I ever told,_

_If I told you_

_This had all been planned_

_Well I lost my head, my heart found its use_

_You stumbled cross me and I fell into you_

The sun was creeping in, Bella awoke to a room engulfed with light and the smell of delicious food. Carlisle was smiling at her from the foot of the bed, welcoming her with a melodic "Good morning, Bella."

Bella involuntarily smiled, too. There was nothing better than waking up from a beautiful dream, just to find the one you loved right there with you. This was even better than a dream-this would last. She wondered why Carlisle hadn´t gotten himself breakfast, too and was about to ask him about it when she decided he was probably just not a morning person. Maybe he didn´t like eating in the morning or maybe he had eaten long before she had woken up. He would surely tell her one day-something that she was already looking forward to.

She couldn´t wait to find more about the man that fascinated her so much- find out what foods he liked, what his favorite childhood memories were, what music he was fond of…She knew they would have a lot of time to talk about all these things so for now she was content just being around him and enjoying the tasty breakfast he had gotten her.

But there was one question she had wanted to ask him for so long, that is just popped right out of her mouth "Carlisle, will you tell me about your family?" She asked and made Carlisle smile automatically-how cute she looked with her mouth full, trying to form a comprehensible question…He understood what she had tried to say anyway, one of the pros when you had the perfect pitch of a vampire."Of Course" he answered and then asked Bella "What do you want to know?"

"Hmm…how about you tell me about your children´s personality first? I wonder what they are like, with a dad like you…I have seen them in school a few times, but I could never make a sense out of any of them …" Bella answered and looked at him curiously. Carlisle deliberated for a moment, trying to find a way to describe them the right way, without mentioning their secret talents and how they had really met and become a family, but then he began:

"Well..first of all : I am not their biological father, I adopted them with my ex wife, Esme. They are all very different from each other, a very lively and manifold gaggle of adolescents. They are not always easy to take, but I love them very much and wouldn´t want to miss a single one of them. My life would be so much less exciting without them trying to batter in each others' heads every so often…

There´s Edward, he was the first to be adopted. He is very creative, likes to play the piano and has a passion for fast cars, just like his Dad…He also places high values on virtues and tradition and loves classical literature like Shakespeare. Maybe he´ll read one of the Sonnets to you one day, I´m pretty sure you would enjoy them, too…Anyway, where was I?"

Carlisle trailed off for a moment and then continued

" It would probably be easiest for you to remember them if I gave you a character trade for each of them that would describe the uniqueness of their personalities best, so let´s just say Edward understands others without too many words. He has learned to read the body languages and mimics of others and knows how to use that very well…I don´t really want to give away too much yet, you will find out what I am talking about when you get to meet him…" He looked up to see if Bella was still listening and found her nodding apprehensively, so he went on.

"Then there´s Rosalie. She is very interested in mechanics and cars. She´d probably love to repair your truck…You have probably noticed that guys try to get her attention wherever she goes, she´s what you would call a natural beauty. But as you know she never goes on a date with any of them-she´s taken.

You have probably noticed the big muscular guy that hangs around her a lot? That´s her boyfriend, Emmett. He is also one of my adoptive children. When we adopted him, shortly after Rosalie had come to us, they fell in love right away. Emett is always very content, he is rarely really bothered by anything. The only thing that could make him angry would be anyone trying to harm Rosalie. Other than that he likes to tell jokes and play pranks on people, so you better watch out."

Bella chuckled and promised "I´ll keep that in mind. Can´t wait to meet him now."

Carlisle went on "Then there´s Alice. I think you two have talked to each other before, right?" and as Bella nodded Carlisle continued "You might have noticed she´s very outgoing and has a bubbly personality. She loves to shop and to take care of all the other family members and she´s the one that the others would come to if they had problems they didn´t want to talk about with me. I think she had a lot in common with you…I guess you´ll soon be friends with her. She and Jasper are a couple by the way.

He´s the lean blonde guy you´ve probably seen hang out with them before. He takes good care of his siblings, always manages to find out how they feel and then responds to that, helping them cope if they feel down or just telling the others to back off...He doesn´t like to see any of them unhappy for too long, it affects his emotional balance as well. He´s not too communicative when it comes to people he doesn´t know, like his classmates in school, but he´s a different person around those who love and care for him, you´ll see." Carlisle ended and then looked at Bella. She answered his introduction with a smile.

"I always wanted to have siblings, now I feel even worse about being an only child" she said

"I can´t wait to meet them".

And Carlisle decided this would be the right moment to inform her about the plans he had in mind:

"Since you´ve recovered from the accident now seen from the medical point of view, they will discharge you from hospital soon. You can go to school again, starting Monday, and go back to your house. Of course I would drop by often to make sure you are ok. But there´s another option: You could come and live with my family. We have a house big enough to accommodate at least ten more people and we´d be pleased to have you around. What do you think?" he asked, eager to find out how Bella would react to this proposal.

Bella once again realized how painful it was to know that Charlie would no longer be part of her life and knew she would probably lose her mind if she had to spend all the evenings and nights alone in the house with all the reminders of her past surrounding her. Spending time with the Cullens, making a new start seemed much more promising so she let Carlisle know how she felt.

"I´d be happy to move in with you, Carlisle." she said and hugged him tightly. She was confident that with him around her future could only get better every day. Despite the loss of her father and the hole in her heart that this had caused she was interested in what the future had to offer.

_And you reveal me, for who I am inside_

_You conceal me, when I need a place to hide_

_When I'm broken_

_When I'm bruised_

_When my soul is black and blue_

_You pour out sweet love on me_

_And you heal me_

_You heal me_


	17. Chapter 17

_******Hey there everybody! I know it's been ages since I have last written a chapter, and I apologize. It's been a rough time for me and I have had a serious disease that I am still recovering from. I hope you will keep on reading and reviewing, so I will be able to decide what the future holds for Carlisle and Bella…I know the chapter isn´t too long, but writing takes up a lot of energy for me these days, so I hope you will understand. The song that goes along best with this chapter is "I will remember you" by Sarah Mc Lachlan (the lyrics are taken from the song)...I hope you enjoy!******_

Bella watched the Mercedes disappear and then turned to watch the house that had once been so familiar. She had asked Carlisle to give her some time for herself-she couldn´t even explain her feelings to herself, so how would she be able to tell him just what she felt?

It seemed like yesterday that she had arrived in Forks to stay with Charlie and she could still remember how upset and angry she had been. Moving to Forks was the most terrible thing to do that she could imagine back then. Now she wished she could turn back time, save Charlie or spend some more time with him. All the terrible things she had said echoed in her mind and her heart ached so much, that she folded her arms and pressed them down on it-to make the pain stop, to hold her heart so tight that it would stop beating and give her a break. She didn´t want to die, she just couldn´t stand living.

_**I'm so tired but I can't sleep**_

_**Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard**_

From where she stood she could even see the swings that Charlie had built for her so long ago. Before life had been hard for her and loneliness had taken over her, they used to have a lot of fun. Images of happy times-playing in the garden with Charlie and wrestling in the grass laughing crossed her mind and made her smile and cry at the same time.

_**Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad.  
How clearly I first saw you smilin' in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me**_

After a while her old, sensible me took over again and Bella walked towards the door to collect the things she wanted to take with her to her new home-after all that was what she´d come here for.

Key in one hand, an empty box in the other she entered the house and took a deep breath…

Meanwhile Carlisle entered the house and was surprised to find himself alone in the hall. Where was everyone?

He heard a noise from the second floor so he went up there to see what they were doing. He really hoped they hadn´t again done something stupid, because he had learned that even 100 year old children could drive a grown man like him crazy. This time they had really done something unexpected though: they had renovated a room for Bella. The room had always been empty except for a pool table that they had barely ever used- after all they all had incredible good eyes so the game was pretty pointless …But now a beautiful room lay ahead of him:

There were picture windows, giving way to the sunlight and the beautiful sight across the dark forests that surrounded Forks. The walls were painted in a bright red and antique white furniture had been arranged carefully across the room. He knew right away that this had been Alice´s and Esme´s idea and that they had made the guys move the furniture around the house several times before they had been satisfied with the outcome of their work...They had always had great taste, but this was the most beautiful room that he had ever seen. But before he could take the room in closer, he heard Jasper calling him from the hall.

Carlisle quickly made his way to the hall because the tone of Jaspers voice told him that something had happened.

"Carlisle-I think you should go see if Bella is ok. We all went hunting, you know that we have to take precautions before we have Bella live here, but when we passed their house I could feel a lot of pain and desperation…You know I can't tell you why she feels this way, but just in case somebody has attacked her or one of our enemies has hunted her down: you should go and have a look…"

"Thank you, Jasper" Carlisle nodded and left the house as fast as he could. How could he have been so thoughtless? He should have known that his presence would get her into danger. He should have made sure that one of them would watch over her...If something had happened to her, he would never be able to forgive himself. Speeding down the roads of Forks, Carlisle had never prayed to God the way he did now. Since he had met Bella he was convinced that he really existed and that there was hope even for vampires and because he knew that losing Bella would be impossible to stand, Carlisle was ready to offer everything he had to give. He would give his life, his soul, forever…if he could only save Bella.

He slammed open the door and found Bella sobbing spasmodically and kneeling on the floor. In her hands a wooden box that she grasped tightly. Quickly Carlisle checked the room for any sights of a fight and tried to find signs of a vampire close to Bella´s former home. Suddenly he realized: Bella was not in pain and desperation because she had been physically hurt-she still suffered from the accident and the loss of her father. he was disappointed in himself. How could he have forgotten how intense human feelings could be and how long it took for wounds to heal when you were human?

He had let his anticipation cloud his empathy and the apprehension that used to be so unmistakable that he had become sort of famous for, especially on hospital grounds. Carefully he knelt down and took Bella in his arms. He stroked her back to the rhythm of her heartbeat and started humming their little tune. Bella still kept her eyes closed. She wanted to block out the world and forget about everything that had happened. This wooden box had made her realize how much Charlie had loved her and how little she had offered him in return. Charlie had kept all her kinder garden paintings and even the milk teeth she had once lost during a holiday stay….a lot of childhood memorabilia that she hadn´t even known existed. It was good to feel Carlisle near to her and to feel the warmth inside that he always made her experience, but she wished that she could share her future with Charlie. She wanted him to forbid her to stay out longer than 12 o´clock at night. She wanted embarrassing talks about contraception and teenage pregnancy and she wanted to dance with her father on her wedding day. All this had been taken from her before she had even realized that this was what she wanted. Why did life have to be so unfair? Why did one incredible human being enter her life as another one left it? Couldn´t she have both?

Carlisle held her like this for a while and then he started speaking-"Bella, darling…I know life seems unfair sometimes and my Dad used to say that God´s ways are unfathomable..I think he was right about that. There was a time that I used to be desperate and didn´t want to live anymore. I had lost my friends and my family and it seemed as though I was all alone. Then my children and Esme became part of my life and finally there was you. When I met you it started making sense. It's been a long time until that day and I suffered a lot, but when you and I met all this had been forgotten in an instant. I couldn't even imagine your desperation because my life has been complete since you came along…Some in my family doubt that there´s a God at all, some believe that they are being punished by having to live this life…But I am sure that there is someone watching over us…And I am sure that your Dad is always right there with you. He wouldn´t leave his little girl alone, being the man that I have come to know. He loved you Bella, he loved you more than his life. And he would be proud of the woman you have become…Don't get upset about the fights you have had in the past. None of that matters now. We take the love with us as we go, not the hate or any material goods...It´s love that matters and I know that you love your Dad as much as he loves you..."

Bella had always been an atheist but lately, after her life threatening accident and meeting Carlisle for the first time she felt that Carlisle could be right about this. There was something indefinable about his presence, something she couldn't understand…but she could feel her inner wounds healing a little whenever he was near, talking to her this way or just holding her. He was her love, he was her home and she wouldn't let go of him for a long time…

She looked him into the eye for a long moment and then gently kissed him, muttering a silent "Thank you" to let him know how much this had helped her. He was relieved to see Bella at ease, even if this wouldn't last long, and she was happy just to be with him. They enjoyed each other´s company and for a little while their small world was whole and unshattered….

_**I'm so afraid to love you  
But more afraid to lose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
Once there was a darkness  
Deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light**_


End file.
